Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
