Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
