Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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