Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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