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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  you tipped EVERY employee at white castle

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.

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• (518): View more from New York

  He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.

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