a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
