hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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