erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
