Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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