so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
