i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
