i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
A+ Viking dick
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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