My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
