So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
