I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
