i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
jump out the window naked night went bad
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