Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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