'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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