he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
