whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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