also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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