so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
