Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
