he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
