OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
