Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
