She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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