Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
