just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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