I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
