Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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