a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
