You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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