Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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