I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
