Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I party with great urgency now.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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