if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize