Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
