You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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