That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Randomize
