He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
