a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
