jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
