Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize