Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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