Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He passed out mid-signature
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
