I want to walk on stilts...naked
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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