She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
