only if we run a train.
done.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
