my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.