if i can run in heels then i can drive
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.