After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
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She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades