So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?