Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You're a disaster