wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
