good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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