my being single is dangerous.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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