therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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