I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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