they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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