Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
