Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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