we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
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